Winners do not quit and quitters do not win.. we have grown up hearing that. However, in real life, when we face a choice – what can / should we choose. Sharing from my experience.
Be it work, or financial pressure, or stress in relationships, health issues… yes.. it is a long list of day to day life issues that pushes one to a corner to think about quitting. So, is it bad to quit? What would others think of me when I quit? Will I be seen as a quitter? Or as a loser? Will I be able to regain my respect or live up to my image? Is it not fundamentally required for me to preserve my image, whatever difficulties I need to go through… very typical thoughts that run through one’s mind, irrespective of gender. Some tips if you are at crossroads trying to decide whether you should quit / let go or continue status quo…
- Enough is Enough mindset – When your mind comes up with this phrase, treat it as a red flag and pay heed to it.
- Stress levels – This usually is a clear indicator when one is at crossroads. Constant thinking and pondering about the same question, replaying same scenarios in your mind with varying outcomes or solutions for what-if scenarios, is a clear indication that something has to change course.
- Prioritize yourself and your life – Whether you are overworked, overburdened with studies, down under financial pressure or whatever be the reason, focus on the underlying cause and know that there is another choice you could make. Not working in that place, choosing a different line of study etc… When one door closes, there is a window which ALWAYS opens up. Whether WE see it, or we need the help of our family / friends / colleagues to see it – is the difference. When you choose to live, you will have another option to make a choice. Sometimes we end up doing so many things for others that we stop prioritizing ourselves and our needs anymore. First prioritize yourself, your health, your life and choose your priorities accordingly. Rest will automatically fall in place – over a period of time.
- Perception – People talk. Whether you do something or not, they will. You need to be the first person living with yourself for the rest of your life. What matters is YOU. Choose and prioritize yourself over what other people’s perceptions of you are. You do something that makes YOU feel good, trust me – that good cheer will be felt by those around you. You will spring back to your old self in no time.
- Pretend-relationships – Think about WHY you would need to put up a farce? For whom? Does it continue to make sense? Can the relationship be reconciled? What is the alternative? If you find ONE reason to stick and make it happen, just ONE is usually good enough, go for it and sustain your relationship and figure out a way to resolve your issues to progress normally on a day to day basis. If not, better to have a cordial goodbye. Holds true for individuals and long term relationships on the work front.
- Too many hardships in life – Yes. Everyone goes through the phase of too many hardships in life at some point of time or the other. When you are going through a really tough phase – talk to your friends or family and ask them what they are going through. Be patient and listen them out. You will see a silver lining after talking to them. How does this happen? They will either say their life is great and will pull up your spirits (you feel happy for them – at least while talking to them), or they say they are going through an equally rough patch.. in which case you have someone to lean on. Now, the good thing about this is – you would have listened to other perspectives and life challenges, giving you time to think about your own.
- Multiple priorities – If you are working on too many things, prioritize the most critical ones. Letting go or quitting some of the non-essentials – be it subjects to study, passive income sources, extra helping hand work, you would exactly know which ones to let go and which ones to continue.
- One non-judgmental friend/colleague – Do you have anyone in your life whom you can trust and discuss how you are actually feeling and why. Hearing yourself speak it out aloud helps. If it happens with a non-judgmental friend/colleague – even better. At the end of the conversation, you might end up choosing to continue or deciding to quit/let go. Either way, your mind is clear and it would have helped you make a decision.
- Health – Sometimes life presents ourselves with tough instances – especially health related that we do not have a choice in the process. If a health-related choice is being thrust on you, this sentence has helped me wade through those tough times – You die only one day, you get to live all the other days. Make them count.
So, should you Quit… I would say.. it takes a lot more strength to step out of your comfort zone and quit your status quo and choose to do something different with your life. You are changing your yardstick to measure yourself, no longer using the one you were using before. So, feel proud and have confidence in yourself that if you are alive, you will have other options to choose from (be it studies, job, work, roles, career, relationships – just about anything). You have given yourself the option of having a choice and are choosing one over the other. It is okay. It is better than okay. It is great! Do something different with your lives and let your story speak for you.
Stay safe! Stay healthy!