Our mind has the ability to block incidents and experiences that hurt or cause pain.
While we tend to move past those incidents, by avoiding people, places and similar confrontations, our minds figure out a way to avoid or workaround aspects that cause pain to move on with day to day lives.
And slowly, we forget the incidents and the pain they caused to carry on with our lives… till something happens that brings back the memories of the raw wounds. It might be days or weeks or even decades, but unresolved issues when they come to forefront have a way of presenting themselves and recreating the pain bringing out emotions which we never knew (still) existed in our minds.
There are always two sides (and multiple perspectives) to the same story. We may never ever get the time and people to relay the same story without adding additional perspectives to the same, however with those who matter (first of all – ourselves), learning to deal with those emotions and figuring out a way to process them helps! Everyone has a different way, pace, mode of processing hurtful words and sentiments, especially if they are someone close. Sometimes valuing the relationship, sometimes the individual and sometimes just everyone’s physical and emotional well being to co-exist are reasons important enough to figure out a way to deal with the emotions.
Sometimes it is easier to forget than forgive someone. Sometimes, it is harder to forgive someone compared to forgiving yourself for the same! While our day to day lives might move forward, with or without processing these emotions, it may be helpful to discuss it and get it out of your system rather than keeping it in and feeling bad. Distance always seems to help make some relationships work, and proximity tends to push them farther. Unless we make it a priority, and make it a common priority across all those involved, it is hard to sustain long-term relationships and long-distance ones.
Make an effort to think about the people who once used to matter in your lives and no longer do. Check with yourself if you have any lingering anger or hurtful sentiments that you are still holding on to. When the existence (or not) does not matter in your lives, why hold on to feelings and emotions that tend to hold us down? Write your sentiments on a piece of paper or talk to a friend and get it out of your system. Talking through it and venting out helps much more than we can imagine! While it may be painful in the short term, it helps in the long run to let go and forgive ourselves for what we put ourselves through!